Pez is Good
by Psi Fi
Summary: Hope and Hank don't understand the Antourage, so Kurt tells them the story behind Luis' Pez dispenser. Also, they're making plans for Cassie's birthday.


"Absolutely not!" Hank Pym snapped, glaring at Scott's trio of friends. "I don't mind you having the party here. A beach party is a good idea. But, not this!"

"Come on, Hank!" Scott coaxed. "You, Janet, and Hope will be busy with the lab. I'm busy with a client presentation for our company on Friday. Someone has to decorate for Cassie's birthday. The guys will do a great job!"

"You want me to let _them_ come into my house, _unattended_ , and put up decorations?! _Move things around_?" Hank stressed, nearly strangling in his outrage.

"What are you worried they're gonna do? It's a kids' birthday party! Frankly, throwing a party is something they're good at."

"Their idea of a good birthday present for each other is a Pez dispenser," Hope pointed out, the near apology in her voice not quite covering her condescension.

Kurt liked Hope and he respected Hank Pym. They were good people, worth admiring. Normally, he wouldn't let their words bother him. After all, they were wealthy, genius scientists and the guys were ex-cons scraping by. He understood that they didn't seem like much to the Pyms. This time, though, their words stung and not just because they would never let Cassie down. They might burgle a place, but they wouldn't burn it down by accident, trying to decorate! Yet, that wasn't the point. The Pyms had insulted something they didn't understand. When he spoke, the room went still in the face of his quiet anger.

"You think Pez dispenser is silly? Not good gift? Do you know why we give Luis Pez dispenser?"

"No, we don't. Do tell," Hank invited, sighing.

"When we help with Cross, was first in long time that we could be good guys. We liked to be good guys. Helping Scott...was good. We care much for Scott."

 _Luis spun around, as he cooked breakfast. He was grinning from ear to ear. Kurt came into the living room, watching his friend with amusement._

 _"Is good morning, Luis?"_

 _"It's a great morning, Kurt! Man, we rocked it, last night. Cross went DOWN! Hey, do you think this makes us heroes?"_

 _"No," Kurt answered, sitting in his chair and opening his laptop. He looked up to see Luis' smile had dimmed a bit. Kurt shrugged, shaking his head, hurrying to explain, "Scott is hero. We are sidekicks. He gets suit."_

 _"It works on him," Dave said, coming in from his bedroom in time to see Luis' smile brighten back up again._

 _"Yeah, but we were still the GOOD GUYS! Did you guys ever imagine we'd get to do that?"_

 _"Would be nice to stay good guys," Kurt admitted, reluctantly, not willing to spoil Luis' mood any further._

 _"Not gonna happen, if we want to eat, though," Dave said firmly._

 _"Aw, c'mon! I bet Scott can help, now. Maybe Dr. Pym can get us on somewhere."_

 _"We're not scientists, Luis," Kurt said gently._

 _"You know computers! I'm gonna talk to Scotty about it," Luis insisted, grinning widely._

"But, then Germany happen," Kurt continued, gravely. "We go back to stealing, trying to survive, trying to find work, but no one will hire. We want to go straight, be good guys. But, we must eat. Not good. Scott disappears and we care for Scott. We don't know if he lives or dies. We worry."

"I'm sorry," Scott interrupted, guilt swelling his throat, but Kurt gazed kindly at him.

"For what? For helping? We only didn't like we couldn't help too. What? You were going to say no to Captain America? I'm Russian. I'm not going to say no to Captain America!"

Scott laughed, smiling widely.

"Yeah, good point. Cap is awesome."

"So, Scott was gone and we couldn't help. Not good. We watch news and world's a mess. Shield goes. Hydra is loose. Not good. SO MUCH was not good. It made Luis, all of us, sad."

 _Luis sat on the balcony, staring out at the city. A rapping on the window startled him. He turned to see Kurt staring gravely down at him._

 _"Company is okay?"_

 _"Yeah, sure, man," Luis said, tiredly._

 _"Why sad? Birthday is coming up. We should plan celebration."_

 _"Thanks, Kurt, but...I really don't want to."_

 _"Thirty is not so old, Luis," Kurt teased, coming out onto the balcony and closing the window._

 _"It's not that young, either. I don't want to be a fifty-year-old thief, wishing for honest work. I'm not stupid! I got skills. I got people skills! I know stuff. You know stuff! We just need a teeny, tiny break, bro!"_

 _"Mmhmm. Go on. Say rest."_

 _"I'm scared for Scotty. It's not putting me in a partying mood. I don't want you and Dave to pick some pockets or whatever, then use that money to buy presents and food and drag some of our other ex-con friends over to drink and play music and pretend everything is okay. Everything is not okay!"_

 _Kurt sat down close to Luis and draped an arm over his shoulders, not looking at his friend, but up to the stars._

 _"No. Much is not good. We live, though. Probably, Scott lives. If Scott was dead, news would say so. Someone would say. Thief or not, you are our Luis, our bro. We don't celebrate birthday, because all is good. We celebrate, because you are here and you are you."_

 _"With stolen money we should put aside for important stuff. The more we steal, the more likely we get caught. Again."_

 _"What if money was not stolen?"_

 _"Hey, I'd love it if you could get a job. If any of us could. How else are we gonna pay bills? Oh, yeah, stealing."_

 _"If I can get legal money, you will allow party?"_

 _"You know I can't say no to you guys," Luis accused playfully._

 _"I know this," Kurt agreed, giving his rare smile._

"I did not lie. There was small job to do. Neighbor upstairs needed help with laptop. I did not want to help him. Bad man. Mean to wife, to son. Just wanted laptop for porns. Offered ten dollars. I kept saying no. But, we needed money. Luis was unhappy. Dave and I want to change that. I talk to Dave and tell him Luis' terms. Was time to swallow pride."

 _Kurt came into the apartment. Finding Dave alone, he held up two, twenty-dollar bills._

 _"Done! We now have money for party."_

 _"Good job, bro," Dave praised. "Where'd you get the rest of the money?"_

 _"All of it from upstairs. Two weeks now he asks for help. Man is desperate."_

 _"Sorry you had to cooperate with that douche. Still, it is for Luis."_

 _"Best part is douche not going to be happy. Will be long time, before he views porn on that laptop. I have him blocked."_

 _Dave gave a delighted laugh._

 _"Sweet! So, that's enough for pizza, cake, ice cream, a few beers, and balloons. With your forty and the twenty I got driving Mrs. Carson to the store, we can even afford to get him presents!"_

 _"How much for presents?"_

 _"Not a lot. Ten, maybe."_

 _"Ideas?"_

 _"Not a one. You?"_

 _"No. Shop for rest and browse for gifts?"_

 _"It's a plan. Let's get going."_

"So, this is what we do. We go to store with bargain music cds. Luis doesn't like store. Most cds are country or folk music. Luis does not care for this, prefers rock and roll. But, we find Bowie cds. Luis loves Bowie. Then, we go shopping for cake and ice cream."

 _"We need something else to go with the Bowie cds," Dave said, firmly._

 _"Why? Luis is Bowie fan."_

 _"We're not just celebrating, dude. He needs cheering up. We need something...happy to give him!"_

 _"Happy is your department."_

 _"It's not that hard, dude. We just need something. I don't know. We need something sweet."_

 _"Candy?"_

 _"We need something to remind him the world isn't just some grim, dark place."_

 _"Dave. World is grim, dark place."_

 _"Dude, don't you start! The world is more than that. It's got...cute stuff. It's got kittens, cartoons, DISNEY!"_

 _"Disney is dark! Disney has witches, dragons, curses, pirates trying to kill lost boys!"_

 _"Well, we're gonna find something that isn't!"_

 _"I still say we should give candy. Luis likes candy."_

 _"Everyone likes candy!" Dave said, impatiently. "Willy Wonka! He's the candy man, making candy, teaching morals, and helping out the poor kid."_

 _"Oompa Loompas, Dave. Little men singing, whenever disaster strikes. Oompa Loompas are terrifying."_

 _"Yeah, okay, they freak me out, too."_

 _"Maybe, we should try the toy aisle. There's gotta be something cute and funny there, right?"_

 _"Candy first. Then toys."_

 _"Hey. I just saw something that combines the two!" Dave crowed. "Check this out, bro!"_

 _Dave led Kurt to a display of licensed Pez dispensers. Most were Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Kurt shook his head._

 _"Star Wars is awesome, but not sweet and happy."_

 _"Hang on, hang on, they got a few other things. Hey, how about Mario?"_

 _"Luis prefers Zelda."_

 _"They got Frankenstein!"_

 _"Undead monster is sweet?!"_

 _"I don't see you making any suggestions."_

 _"What about circus clown?"_

 _"Dude, how are you freaked out by Disney and not by CLOWNS?!"_

 _"Yeesh," Kurt complained, tossing a few Star Wars dispensers aside in the bin._

 _"Bro, I got it!" Dave said excitedly, holding up a dispenser in a pink package. "Remember that cartoon marathon we watched a few Saturdays ago? When you had a cold?"_

 _"With the kitty girl?"_

 _"Yeah, that one," Dave agreed, handing a Hello! Kitty dispenser over. "We can get him that."_

 _"Yes! Luis laughed so hard at kitty's antics!" Kurt agreed, excitedly._

"So, did this birthday gambit cheer Luis up?" Hank asked.

"Yeah, it did," Luis said, enthusiastically. "It so worked. I got the best bros on the planet, dude!"

"Please don't call or refer to me as 'dude,'" Hank ordered, though his tone had softened.

"Nothing wrong with dude. As Luis say, the party work."

 _Luis came home on his birthday. He'd had an interview, but he knew he wouldn't get the job. The interviewer had spent too long talking about Luis' record and the value of trust. So, that birthday present wasn't happening. He tried to cheer up. Luis knew his down mood was starting to infect Dave and Kurt. He didn't want that. They were good guys, at heart._

 _Opening the door, he found the floor and table covered with balloons. A birthday cake sat on the counter, along with a wrapped present. Pizzas were stacked on the stove. Luis pasted on a smile. Okay, he'd said no to a party, but they were only trying to help him._

 _"Happy Birthday, Luis!" Dave and Kurt greeted._

 _"Thanks, guys. I really appreciate the thought."_

 _"Hey!" Kurt said, remembering their talk. "Everything here was bought with legal money. Promise!"_

 _"Y-you got work?"_

 _"No," Kurt said, reluctantly. "We do odd jobs for neighbors. Dave drove Mrs. Carson. I fixed laptop for douche."_

 _"Aw, man. You fixed the laptop of that toad in 40B?!"_

 _"Yes. I charge him a lot though."_

 _Luis flung his arms around Kurt in a tight hug, while he awkwardly patted Luis' back in return._

 _"Man, I can't believe you did that for me. You guys are so awesome!"_

 _"Speaking of awesome, come open your present, so we can eat," Dave instructed._

 _Luis obeyed, opening the gift. He grinned at the Bowie cds. The Pez dispenser brought laughter._

 _"Aw, I love that cool cat. She's so classy! Her and Bowie are perfect."_

 _"We thought to give you something sweet, to make happy," Kurt explained. "Something to remind world has fun things, too."_

 _"Yeah," Luis agreed, grinning brightly. "I'm sorry I've been such a pill lately, guys."_

 _"Don't worry about it, man. It's cool. We just missed that goofy smile of yours."_

 _"Who are you calling Goofy, Pluto?" Luis demanded playfully._

 _"Both are too short to be Goofy," Kurt teased, smiling._

 _Luis and Dave threw balloons at him, laughing._

"So, we have reason for Pez dispenser. Even silly toy can do good."

"Kurt, guys, I'm sorry," Hope said, gently, contrite.

"Good," Janet said, coming into the room. "Please forgive them. My husband can be a bit, well, snobbish, frankly. He seems to have influenced Hope, too."

"Um. Is okay," Kurt said, staring wide-eyed at her. "We just want truth understood."

"Of course. I glad to finally meet you. Scott says good things about you boys. I'm Janet Pym."

"Um. I'm Kurt. This is Dave and Luis. Hello."

"So, tell us. What sort of decorations are you planning for the party?"

"Dinosaurs!" Luis answered, with endearing enthusiasm. "We let her watch Jurassic Park, which Maggie didn't want us to do, because she thinks that movie is too super-scary for kids. Like, she worried little Cassie was gonna wake up screaming from nightmares level scary! But, we didn't know that. So, we showed it to her. Because, that movie is a cinema MASTERPIECE. It's awesome! So, we let her watch, right, and she LOVED it. Why wouldn't she? That little lady would scare a T-rex right back into its DEN, if T-rex's had dens. Which, I don't know, if they did or not. She just was so excited and happy. And she told her Mom, right? And Maggie was like, 'oh, no you did NOT.' And we had to admit, 'aw crap, yeah, we kinda DID, sorry, Maggie..."

"Cassie love dinosaurs," Kurt interrupted.

"Yeah, she didn't have nightmares at all," Luis assured Janet, smiling.

"Dinosaurs are very cool," Janet agreed, grinning. "I'll have to see Jurassic Park. Actually, how would you fellas like to have one of glow in the dark dinosaurs from Lambert's mini-golf?"

"You can get that?" Kurt asked, awed.

"Whoa, hold up! That'd be great, but what's going on at Lambert's?" Dave asked, alarmed. "I love the dinosaur course!"

"Oh, they're not getting rid of it," Janet assured him. "They're just updating it, with some new technology and hazards."

"Sweet! We'll have to go there, once they're done," Scott told his friends, who nodded eagerly.

"Please get that for us, Mrs. Pym," Luis pleaded.

"Done," Janet promised.

"Awesome! I gotta get to Maggie's," Scott said, heading for the door. He paused in front of Kurt, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Kurt, just so you know? Sidekicks are heroes, too. Even if you don't get to wear the suit."

Kurt ducked his head, blushing a tiny bit.

"Thank you, Scott."

"No problem," Scott said, casually. "See you later."

"Bye, Scotty!" Luis said.

"Okay, we best go too. We got shopping to do, dudes," Dave told his friends.

Once they were gone, Hank turned to Janet, shaking his head.

"Why did you do that?"

"Why didn't you tell me those three were so adorable?" she retorted. "Honestly, Hank, you made them sound like deliquents, not those sweet boys."

"They're thieves!"

"Former thieves," Hope corrected, smiling a bit.

"I think I'll adopt them," Janet said, brightly.

Hank squawked at that, but Janet and Hope ignored him.


End file.
